It's been a weird few weeks, folks. I don't quite know how to break it down, because some of what made this week so weird has been intangible things. Like the air around me just felt yucky.
I guess I can start by saying my dog got sick. She was throwing up and being very lethargic. Normally when anyone comes home after being gone for a while, she runs up and jumps and barks and wags her tail. We knew she was sick when we'd come home from errands or something and she wouldn't move from wherever she had decided to collapse earlier. My mom took her to the vet and he diagnosed her with a gastro-intestinal illness. He gave us some anti-nausea medicine to give her, but she couldn't keep it down. So we had to wait for her tiny little furry body to heal itself. She's starting to feel better now, but she's still tired a lot.
So that sucked. It was weird seeing the one family member who is always happy suddenly looking and acting like the world was about to end. What was also weird was that around that time, I started to feel really lethargic too. Suddenly I couldn't go for a day without napping, no matter how much sleep I had gotten the night before. I've never been a particularly hyperactive person, but this was weird. I also started to feel very unmotivated. I was living in an anti-depressant commercial. Which was oddly ironic because I'm on an anti-depressant. In fact, I find that I have to change the channel when the ad for my pill comes on TV.
Anyway, I was just kind of on autopilot for a while. I woke up, did some stuff, napped, wasted time, slept, and then did it all again. It sucked. But last night, something weird happened. I had been having an especially crappy day. My sister had been sick for a few days and as we found out yesterday, she has a tickborne infection that can only be cured with an antibiotic that has, in the past, made her extremely sun-sensitive. So not only does it hurt like hell to watch her lie around completely ill, but we might not get to go to Martha's Vineyard for a week on the beach.
So once all this happened, I just kind of snapped. I started crying about my sister and probably not being able to go to the beach and then about my ongoing fatigue and lack of motivation and then all this stuff started coming out of my mouth about my parents' divorce that's going on now, and all this anger I've been keeping under wraps. The floodgates were open from last night to early this afternoon. My eyes are a little raw now, but I don't feel tired like I normally would at this time.
I think I finally get catharsis. I used to think I did, because I've always liked sad movies and music and all, but I never knew what it was like to feel healed from getting all the gunk out of your psyche.
I sound pretty granola now, so I'll stop. But I just kind of felt like writing this out. I promise I'll write something funny soon.
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