Lately I've been watching "My So-Called Life" on Netflix Instant. I probably vowed at one point in my life that I'd never watch it, because I found Claire Danes so annoying or something, but I caved inexplicably and now I just wish that I had found it when I was in high school. The show is structured around Angela Chase's (Claire Danes) inner monologue (kind of like what Zach Braff did on "Scrubs" but takes itself a lot more seriously.) The things she says are just the kind of things teenagers say when they think they've earned the right to be world-weary. But I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. It makes those times when she's happy all the more poignant, actually. Like there's this scene where she's in the car with Jordan Catalano, who's played by Jared Leto and is totally dreamy and lazy and doesn't give a damn. Also he wears a lot of flannel and doesn't talk too much. Anyways, the voiceover says something about that moment when you feel like your life is about to change, and you can feel everything turning around for the better.
As much as I hate relating to a 90s teen drama, I'm kind of having a moment like that right now.
In the past two days, I've landed a summer internship in New York and an official spot (with classes and everything) for the fall semester at Goldsmiths College in London. It's been a weird awakening that I live in a world where good things happen to me, and I'm a little worried that I'm going to get hit by a PVTA bus soon. When I was in high school, I didn't think I had what it took to live a life by my own standards. I lived for other people, and resigned myself to the supposed fact that I wasn't wired to get what I wanted. Lately (even as I type this) I'm feeling vibrations in the air because things are finally turning around and reshifting. I'm going to spend this summer in New York and next fall in London. It sort of feels like I shouldn't get to say that, like those are things that more fortunate people get to say and do. But then I realize that this is my life, and I do get to say those things because shit is finally coming together.
so funny to read this b/c i've been on a netflix MSCL marathon too! except the only difference is that i was the same age as angela when i watched it the first time around in high school- however, i do have to say that jordan catalano is still freaking hot all these years later, "in my humble opinion". congrats on all the good stuff happening, and yes, you do deserve it! xo sage
ReplyDeleteAww you're the best. Also, Jared Leto will never look as smoking hot as he did back then. That's just a scientific fact.
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